Even in Hell

Where can I go from your Spirit? 

Or where can I flee from your presence? 

If I ascend to heaven, you are there; 

if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.

-- Psalm 139:7-8

Do you have a personal picture of hell, not the eternal fire kind, but hell on earth – somewhere completely divorced from hope and the experience of God’s presence? For years, mine was the inpatient psychiatric unit at the public hospital where I was a chaplain. Patients were locked away for days or weeks. They had come from a fragile life. They would be discharged on medication to a marginal existence, often to get off the meds and return to the hospital. Visitors were rare. Could there be souls more lost?

When another chaplain began weekly worship there, I couldn’t imagine what that would accomplish. Then he asked me to fill in while he was away. I couldn’t say no, but how does one lead worship in hell?

I arrived with a CD of soothing music, a scripture I thought might be comforting and an innocuous devotional, planning to close with the Lord’s Prayer. The patients, many shuffling, began arriving after the music started. I introduced myself and read my scripture. A few words into the devotional, a patient called out a scripture – book, chapter, verse. To humor him, I looked it up and read it aloud – a passage of great comfort. Another person called out another book, chapter and verse – beautiful words of hope. Over and over, they cited scriptures and I read. Where had these scriptures come from – a long-ago Sunday school class, a parent or grandparent, someone in a shelter? God’s word seemed to bounce off the walls in that forsaken place.

The room became quiet. Time for the Lord’s Prayer? A patient called out, “Matthew 6:9” – the Lord’s Prayer. In awe, I led the prayer. As I walked back to the chaplain’s office, my heart echoed the words, “Where can I go from your Spirit?” Nowhere, not even in hell on earth.

God’s peace,

Katie